Lack thereof will surely lead to my downfall...
Teaching is alot about self discipline so far. The discipline to plan each lesson ahead of time, the discipline to mark 30 books with lucid comments, the discipline to write 60 reports over a weekend, the discipline to give up some of your holiday to look at the curriculum and think through a half term of lessons across 5 or more different classes ahead of time, the discipline to ask other teachers for advice and sift through the mountains of resources available to help, the discipline not to show your emotion when confronted with rudeness, laziness, indifference, stupidity or all of the above!
I've never been that disciplined. I am completely capable of being organised and would never have been successful as a marketer without it but I preferred to exercise the right to be spontaneous, unplanned and doing the minimum necessary to get by - winging it. As I climbed the ranks at Diageo it became easier to do so, placing the burden on those around me to compensate. I can't do that anymore and it's stretching me way beyond my comfort zone, which is GOOD.
The trouble is, I'm not sure how long I can keep it up. I know it's the right thing to do and as a result I am better prepared and deliver a better lesson. Winging it was always my thing and it's very tempting, especially when I look at my more experienced colleagues who jot a couple of key points in their diary and off they go. The good thing is that I've tried it a couple of times and it's gone horribly wrong. The other good thing is that I know the right thing to do and will keep striving to do the right thing. Maybe in 10 years I can start winging it again.
Showing posts with label Diageo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Diageo. Show all posts
Day 360 - Stress
I have come across many references to teacher stress in the last year but what kind of stress have I personally experienced and how does it compare to corporate stress?
Picking up a completely new career at the age of 41 which involves a massive pay cut and moving countries has certainly been stressful but on the whole it has been 'good' stress. This is something I have chosen to do and having done so, I have greeted the majority of challenges head on rather than resisted them being imposed on me. That makes a big difference.
I have certainly not experienced this level of physical fatigue over such an extended period. When you are in the classroom teaching, there is no 'out' clause that allows you to disappear into the staff room and recharge. As such, 7 weeks of constant teaching is much like presenting marketing plans 3 or 4 times a day, 5 days a week...with an audience that isn't paid to be there! I have certainly had periods of fatigue before, many induced by too many long distance flights and alcohol enhanced late nights, but never for more than 1 or 2 weeks and always with the get out clause of spending a day in my office with the door closed.
The bigger, most appreciated difference is that I have not had to deal with any build up of the mental (and emotional) stress that I had to wrestle with in the past 10 years. Most of it was self-induced but the level at which I was operating meant that there was no escape from it day to day, year to year. It started when we moved to Amsterdam and never really left until I walked away. There were moments that I would prefer to forget, like sitting alone in a hotel room in New York the day before a planning meeting, crumbling under the responsibility I had been given (and asked for).
The pressures are very transient in teaching. I certainly get worked up before each lesson and if I fail to plan the night before a 5 lesson day, I have been known to wake up in a cold sweat. However, the minute the bell goes, the stress disappears. If I have a good lesson, it feels great and I believe I can be a great teacher. If I have a bad lesson, I try and make it better the next time without agonising over it...the most I will teach one class is 3 hours a week, so how much damage can I be doing with the odd stinker?!
Picking up a completely new career at the age of 41 which involves a massive pay cut and moving countries has certainly been stressful but on the whole it has been 'good' stress. This is something I have chosen to do and having done so, I have greeted the majority of challenges head on rather than resisted them being imposed on me. That makes a big difference.
I have certainly not experienced this level of physical fatigue over such an extended period. When you are in the classroom teaching, there is no 'out' clause that allows you to disappear into the staff room and recharge. As such, 7 weeks of constant teaching is much like presenting marketing plans 3 or 4 times a day, 5 days a week...with an audience that isn't paid to be there! I have certainly had periods of fatigue before, many induced by too many long distance flights and alcohol enhanced late nights, but never for more than 1 or 2 weeks and always with the get out clause of spending a day in my office with the door closed.
The bigger, most appreciated difference is that I have not had to deal with any build up of the mental (and emotional) stress that I had to wrestle with in the past 10 years. Most of it was self-induced but the level at which I was operating meant that there was no escape from it day to day, year to year. It started when we moved to Amsterdam and never really left until I walked away. There were moments that I would prefer to forget, like sitting alone in a hotel room in New York the day before a planning meeting, crumbling under the responsibility I had been given (and asked for).
The pressures are very transient in teaching. I certainly get worked up before each lesson and if I fail to plan the night before a 5 lesson day, I have been known to wake up in a cold sweat. However, the minute the bell goes, the stress disappears. If I have a good lesson, it feels great and I believe I can be a great teacher. If I have a bad lesson, I try and make it better the next time without agonising over it...the most I will teach one class is 3 hours a week, so how much damage can I be doing with the odd stinker?!
Day 307 - The Midnight Train
Wednesday February 17th
Went up to London for dinner and met up with Jonathan, Justin and Benj. We had a good few beers and dinner. This was a good test of whether I miss my old world. I really enjoyed catching up but the thought of still being involved at Diageo or the marketing world leaves me cold. It was a late one but I caught the midnight train home and slept in my own bed.
Went up to London for dinner and met up with Jonathan, Justin and Benj. We had a good few beers and dinner. This was a good test of whether I miss my old world. I really enjoyed catching up but the thought of still being involved at Diageo or the marketing world leaves me cold. It was a late one but I caught the midnight train home and slept in my own bed.
Day 228 - Data Handing Is Easy
Monday November 30th
A good day today. Kept plugging away with 9.2.2 on percentages and ratio and I seemed to have got the pitch right on this one. It really does make a difference as they stay on task and aren't so needy. I can praise them as well which they lap up.
10.2.2 was OK as well. We did cumulative frequency graphs and they settled down and got on with the work. Data Handling, as the whole area is called, is relatively easy for them to grasp as conceptually there isn't much to it - just learning a bunch of different ways of collecting, analysing and representing data. Easy.
I'm on a course tomorrow so no lesson planning. Glee. I did however lend a hand to my friend Vinay from Diageo days. He left over the summer has a mad scheme to get them to pay for him and his friends to travel around the world and drink Guinness. It might just work...
Day 200 - Back to School
Monday November 2nd
200 days since I left Diageo. It does feel like another life. Teaching is certainly proving to be hard work especially as I am left to figure much of it out on my own. In many ways the challenges and routines are similar but the most important change is in myself. It no longer feels like my job defines or consumes me. It feels very much like something new that I am having a go at, in the same way as I've taken up running in a big way or taken on a new house in a new city. I'm curious as to whether I can be good at it as opposed to success or failure will define whether my life is a success or failure, a feeling I had many times over the past 20 years in my chosen career. I know this year will be all consuming as I train but once I'm more experienced I can start expanding my horizons and choose what I want to do.
Back to school today and tired myself out in just one day! Not that bad but it certainly didn't feel like we had had a week off. Worked through my two lessons in the morning and then was able to relax. I really enjoyed the lesson with 10.2.2 when we went through the topic test they had done.
9.2.2 are troubling me. I can't seem to get the pitch right with them. If I try and stretch them they go very quiet and just sit there. If I try and make it fun and engaging, they start mucking about. On top of that I have a few kids in there that are just not participating at all. I can't decide whether that's my fault or I need to get tough with them. Sounds familiar from my past life....
Day 197 - St Edmunds Pot Luck
Friday October 30th
Guy came over for a run. We did about 10 miles and had a great chat. He used to work at Diageo and jacked it all in and is doing GTP in Slough. He's also a very accomplished runner and triathlete. We shared experiences and they are quite similar. He doesn't care for the lack of management competence he fins in his school and enjoys the "thinking on your feet" challenge of the classroom. I worry less about that aspect but do worry about my subject knowledge. It's there but a little rusty.
Spent all afternoon trying to bring some order to my portfolio and had some success and then we had the long anticipated St Edmunds pot luck. Unfortunately, Simon at Number 1 suffered a heart attack this week so we were down to 3 but we had a good time and will do it again when he is back at full strength - appetizers at Number 3, main at Number 4 and dessert at ours where once again, Ted's magnificent key lime pie stole the show.
Day 193 - All In Double Digits
Monday October 26th
Alice turns 10 today and I'm not at work....brilliant
I can't quite believe that all our children are now in double digits and in January we will have two teenagers. Before we know it they'll be gone but my cunning plan to see them more often is working.
Got a call from Ted's coach saying he had been approached by another club to sign Ted. Ooops. It wasn't meant to work like this but we talked it through and agreed to hold off until Christmas. Now we just need to agree transfer fee and signing on bonus.
Mum came over for the day so we made Delia's Christmas puddings and went for a walk into Winchester. The weather was fantastic and we showed Mum the flats in Peninsula Barracks. I got my pension letter through from Diageo and it kicks in from 2029. Twenty years til I can retire to our cosy flat there and rock gently back and forth with my pipe, slippers, blanket and a good book
Day 153 - Tutor Visit
Wednesday September 16th
Our darling daughter's 15th birthday today and no school for them. Just me trudging up the long steep hill to school. Today was all about annual reviews...done a few of them before! It was very nice not to have to do one for a change. Instead I had a meeting with Keith, the head of the GTP course at University of Southampton. The meeting went well, especially as I had everything handy to show him.
Brought back bad memories of the final leadership course I had to do at Diageo when every sinew within me screamed in protest at having to fill in forms, do tests and go to week long courses, all the while knowing I was moving on. I enjoyed it much more this time - how could you not when it's all new and interesting and stretching me in different directions rather than bullsh*t of the highest order that gets cancelled as soon as the money runs dry in a recession?
Day 144 - How Badly Can They Behave?
Monday September 7th
So my biggest nightmare is being soft on behaviour. I lie/sit there and think of all these different scenarios where kids defy me, laugh at me, swear at me, attack me (or someone else) and I am frozen on the spot, unable to take firm action. My preference is for some cutting witty remark that stops them in their tracks and there is no more trouble but I know that is fantasy land.
Even standing in the corridor and checking uniforms (top button done up, tie up to the collar, shirt tucked in) is a dilemma. How do you be consistent if you know that a. say it once you have to say it a thousand times and b. once they walk round the corner, they undo their top button again.
At the staff meeting today, I received a weighty copy of the behaviour policy and had a talk from the child protection officers. We have a 'Referral Form' which we need to fill in and pass to senior management if we punish anyone. The list of misdemeanours is priceless - swearing, smoking, drugs, alcohol, not working. Also priceless is what you need to refer to the CPO - pregnancy, abortion, drug abuse. Not much of that to deal with at Diageo.
Day 140 - The Time Has Come
The time has come the Walrus said
To talk of many things
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax
And cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether pigs have wings
A very auspicious day for new beginnings - on September 3rd in 1939 WW2 started, in 1989 I started my first job at Beecham Bovril Brands and today, 20 years later, I start my new career as a teacher.
An INSET day is probably the easiest intro I could ask for as there were no children in the school but it did not diminish the enormity of the occasion. I walked to school with my packed lunch and QPR mug, got my new badge and then found out I was not on the list of staff. Oh well. I did get a laptop and login name on my first day which was very impressive.
Work finished at 3.15. I'll repeat that, 3.15 so I walked home, took Ted to practice, ran 3 miles, got home and didn't feel that tired. Cracking.
140 days, exactly 20 weeks since I left Diageo and I have enjoyed every single day of those 20 weeks. I've run a 24 hour relay race, done a triathlon, run a Beer Mile, moved countries, bought a house, got all three kids into school, two kids into football clubs and ticked off quite a few things on my bucket list. I really did have a dream to become a teacher for many years and now that is exactly what I am making a reality. I have always been more fatalistic than anything - taking each day as it comes, tackling whatever is in front of me and, I suppose, more often than not, taking the easy option and operating within my capabilities. This is the first time I've seriously set about achieving a big long term goal. Let's see if I'm any good at it.
Day 85 - My Timetable
Friday July 10th
Quiet morning observing a couple of classes and then spent a good hour with the head of PSD, discussing my experience from yesterday. I have much to learn on this front but now have a handbook so at least I can learn the words and acronyms, and Diageo thought it had too many acronyms......
Jane took me through my timetable for next year. In my first week I will go solo on one class...lucky 8.2.4!!!!! 8 means Year 8, 2 means Band 2, 4 means Set 4. There are 11 sets across 3 bands with Maths and Science joined at the hip. Basically, Kings' is streamed in every subject which is why sitting with a 3.3 class is very challenging! I will have a 50% timetable with one Yr 7, 2 Yr 8 and 1 Yr 10 class, sharing with other teachers until they trust me to go it alone. Jane gave me a bunch of text books so that I can at least get to know the material over the summer. Terrifying.
Get home to several messages from Dan and Melissa. It seems the workshop is cancelled next week. I am relieved. I spoke to Dan later and he said that Larry had vetoed it saying "no outside consultants for work that should be done internally". Ha!
Quiet morning observing a couple of classes and then spent a good hour with the head of PSD, discussing my experience from yesterday. I have much to learn on this front but now have a handbook so at least I can learn the words and acronyms, and Diageo thought it had too many acronyms......
Jane took me through my timetable for next year. In my first week I will go solo on one class...lucky 8.2.4!!!!! 8 means Year 8, 2 means Band 2, 4 means Set 4. There are 11 sets across 3 bands with Maths and Science joined at the hip. Basically, Kings' is streamed in every subject which is why sitting with a 3.3 class is very challenging! I will have a 50% timetable with one Yr 7, 2 Yr 8 and 1 Yr 10 class, sharing with other teachers until they trust me to go it alone. Jane gave me a bunch of text books so that I can at least get to know the material over the summer. Terrifying.
Get home to several messages from Dan and Melissa. It seems the workshop is cancelled next week. I am relieved. I spoke to Dan later and he said that Larry had vetoed it saying "no outside consultants for work that should be done internally". Ha!
Day 78 - 11 Weeks
Friday July 3rd
11 weeks since I left Diageo slipped past unnoticed yesterday. So much has happened that I didn't stop to think about it but I did do a conference call to discuss the Whisky Strategy meeting I am facilitating in under two weeks time. I proceed with mixed emotions as the adrenaline definitely kicks in when I think about what should be done but there is still a very marked reluctance to dedicate the time and energy to prepare. It was a good call but I could have, should have, would have done more to be prepared. I think that's who I am rather than Diageo but I do need to get more disciplined as there is no way I can ad-lib 20 lessons a week.
Spent another day in Winchester. We all went to see 2 St Edmunds and take a few notes and then I took Ted and Ellen to look at cars while Mrs N took Alice to St Faiths to meet her new teachers. Poor mite, she finishes Hillside on June 25th and then goes back to school next week...in uniform. She is being very brave about it.
We test drove the Scenic and we like dit so it looks like the famous Nichols "See it, Buy it" modus operandi will kick in tomorrow as we are going back tomorrow to make an offer.
11 weeks since I left Diageo slipped past unnoticed yesterday. So much has happened that I didn't stop to think about it but I did do a conference call to discuss the Whisky Strategy meeting I am facilitating in under two weeks time. I proceed with mixed emotions as the adrenaline definitely kicks in when I think about what should be done but there is still a very marked reluctance to dedicate the time and energy to prepare. It was a good call but I could have, should have, would have done more to be prepared. I think that's who I am rather than Diageo but I do need to get more disciplined as there is no way I can ad-lib 20 lessons a week.
Spent another day in Winchester. We all went to see 2 St Edmunds and take a few notes and then I took Ted and Ellen to look at cars while Mrs N took Alice to St Faiths to meet her new teachers. Poor mite, she finishes Hillside on June 25th and then goes back to school next week...in uniform. She is being very brave about it.
We test drove the Scenic and we like dit so it looks like the famous Nichols "See it, Buy it" modus operandi will kick in tomorrow as we are going back tomorrow to make an offer.
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